Discords and Spaghettios

GUESS WHO'S BACK?!? Yeah, yeah, I know- you all missed me, and your hearts are bleeding sad little emo tears. *Sniffles* I'm flattered. Ahhh! So it's been a while, eh? Well, quick update [[don't want to lose you here]] Marco and me are doing great! He moved in with me back in June. He's in Illinois right now though, trying to find a job. Believe it or not- I'm on the same boat. Yup yup, Angela's gonna get a job! O.O Oooh but Angela, you're a slacker, and slackers don't get jobs. Yeah, well you can suck on my peepee, cause I've had it with that crap. Let's face it people- Life sucks. End of story. You're going to have to get a job, no matter how hard it is to find one or get to it. And sometimes it takes yelling at your mom that your sister stole your underwear, then listening to her get bitched out about something completely irrelevant, looking at a puppy with his tongue sticking out, then getting bitched at about how worthless you are to get ya motivated. [[Lost yet? Good!]] But basically I'm just sick of people making me feel like shit, and if I ever wanna get out of this hell hole, I'm gonna have to get me a job! Still not sure what I wanna do when I grow up [[Besides be a singing basketball player rodeo cowboy in space]] Haha, nah- but seriously, I wanna be a singer. I got connections with a guy who has a studio, so I'm going to go record some CDs soon. Woot woot! I love you guys! Thanks for putting up with me. And welcome baaaaacckkkk!!!

♥ 4.25.10 - Forever ♥

"Too young, for him they told her waitin for the love of a travelin' soldier" Stupid song, you make me want to cry. =,[ Well, on a uber super duper amazingly positive note, ♫ I've finally got the love of my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead and gimme your shit about how I said the same things about Rory and wah blah blah blow me sideways. See though, there's a difference. Firstly, Marco is NOT Rory... That in itself should sate you. But aye, here's some more. Honestly, I was terrified at first too- all the reasons I broke up with Rory, wasn't it just as possible I'd feel the same with Marco. Then I realized. A huge part, no matter how hard I tried to deny it, of me breaking up with Rory... WAS Marco. I didn't break up with Rory for Marco. I honestly never thought I'd GET Marco... Or hell, even meet him. But now I have, and I've honestly never felt so perfect with anyone or anything in my life. It hurts so bad with him being down in Georgia. But he'll be home soon enough. And now he's talking about moving to Michigan to be with me. I don't honestly know what I'll do if he doesn't. I can't take the distance- simple as that. But damn, I love this boy more than life itself. I've gone through hell and back to be with him, and I don't intend on losing him. He's mine, mine, all mine, and I've never been happier. They say you'll know when you've finally met your soulmate. Oh boy, were they right... ♥

Social Networking Fag

Hello, my name is Angela. And I'm a Social Networking Fag. Now, don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my social networking sites, but I think it's time to admit I have a problem. Myspace, Facebook, MyYearbook, Tagged, Formspring, Dailybooth, Blogger... I'm sure I'm forgetting some O.o I think I'm just a hooker for the social interactions. If getting questions, posting blogs, checking secret admirers, blabbing aimlessly, and being creeped on by pervs can really be considered "interactions" *Shrugs* I suppose I'm just a ramblinz, cause it's 3.40 and I'm kinda tired. >.< But seriously, I think it's going to be my goal to join every single social networking site out there. Oh yeah- and Twitter... I forgot I had one of those. You should see my browser- so many tabs! It's kind of crazy. But I've offically become a carpal tunnel shut-in with absolutely no life. The internet will be the death of me I swear! [[Who actually reads this shit?]] O.o

"Show us your boobies!" "Umm..No- Don't..."

When girls go wild, they flash their tits to everyone. When women go wild, they kill their husbands and drown their kids in the bath tub :) Wise words from a wise comedian. Who was the comedian? Oh- I don't remember =P But honestly people... What is up with all these freaking Girls Gone Wild commercials? Is it just me, or is this like, THE most degrading and humiliating thing ever? Oh but then again- I suppose when your idea of "academic excellence" is sleeping with every one of your male teachers [[and a couple of the females]] then that's a helluva "ass"piration, eh? ^_^ If this offends you, then I'm sorry...that you're a whore. That or you're a man. :) But don't get me wrong- not ALL men are pigs- some are cocks ;) Haha you know I love you guys :) But really now... what is it that possesses women to flash and flaunt and fuck their way to "Girls Gone Wild"? Is it because you want to be in a movie? Hell- go audition- you don't even need talent these days! Face it. If you star in Girls Gone Wild, chances are you A) Suffer from low self-esteem 2) Fucked your entire graduating class or both. Either way, you must love making a complete fool of yourself. And I know someone's going to read this and beeeeeetch at me, so here goes: YES! I AM JEALOUS. I WISH I WAS HOTT LIKE YOU AND NEEDED TO FLASH OFF MY JUNK TO MAKE A NAME FOR MYSELF. Don't worry... I'll be famous one day. But it'll be for the shit coming out my mouth [[not going in it ;)]] Alrighty... I think that's enough for one night, eh? =P I love you guys! ^_^ Even you, you lil hookers :P

Unintended

Bodies tangled under twisted bed sheets, clothes haphazardly thrown around the room, torn off in the rush of ecstasy that led us to the bed. Music, loud and fast, blares in the background as we roll around in a tangle of hot, wet, passion. Bodies, soaked in sweat and bursting with ecstasy pressed against each other- hot bare flesh pierced with cold beads of sweat. Kisses trail up and down bodies like a cold stream. His fingers run along the winding curves of my body, butterflies fluttering across the early morning, as the pace slows. Bringing the hand not holding mine up, he cups my face and brings his lips, full and luscious, to mine, hot and waiting- kisses me slowly and sweetly, a change in the tempo of our lustful tango. My heart skips a beat in anticipation as his lips part mine. His hand, warm and steady, slides its way gently towards the back of my head to softly grip my hair. I close my eyes and bask in the moment, absorbing as much detail as I can as the scene slowly fades- the weight of his body lifting from mine, the feel of his skin leaving me, the warmth disappearing, his lips press against mine in one last final goodbye. I open my eyes slowly and watch through tears as the scene before me- what could be- dissolves into thin air. The scene slowly fades away until he’s gone completely. I close my eyes tightly, hoping to fall back into the dream. With a deep mournful sigh, I slowly open my watering eyes. I’m left here alone, lying in the dark on my tear-soaked pillow. How the dreams are so much better than reality. The melody of a familiar song, one dedicated from one heart to another- one that wrenches at mine- plays softly in my mind, an echo of my dream, and he appears faintly before me again- a phantom; A bringer of love, sorrow, and confusion. “I’ll be there as soon as I can” I hear him say, a soft angelic melody softly whispered into my ear. “You could be the one I’ll always love” I whisper back softly to the empty room. I close my tear-filled eyes, the beautiful melody still playing in my mind, and pray that the night will be kind and allow me another visit from my unintended…

♣ Applesauce ♣

Yeah... for some reason "clubs" reminds me of applesauce I guess *Shrugs* So you're basically probably sorta kinda totally and completely wasting your time reading this. So I appreciate it if you're still with me here. Have you guys ever felt just completely and totally restless? Like, I just need to get up and move, or do something, or run a mile, just something, just anything, just BREATHE! *stretches* I don't know why I'm like this... I get like this every so often, but it's been worse lately. Maybe it's my medication? Does anyone know if mood stabilizers cause you do feel overly restless? Cause like... I'm going crazy over here... No joke. I want to write... or maybe I should read? But reading makes me feel more restless. It's too dark and cold outside to go for a run, not that I would want to do that anyway... I think I might write... And watch TV... But not just one or the other. I want to multi-task, but I want to be left alone. Umm... Applesauce. I'm eating it. So yeah... I think this is anxiety... it's a side effect of my meds... Fuckletackers! Making up random [[odd]] words... Strange? Fun! Okay... I should go now! Hopefully this wear off! >.< Lata Hataz o.O

Lacrimal Fluid...Oh yum!

[[Disclaimer: Lacrimal Fluid, for those of you wondering, is the scientific name for "tear"]]

Why do we cry? I wondered that last night as I stood in the bathroom, staring at my own disgruntled {thank you Mike} reflection in the mirror. Hair tangled, face red, eyes wet, bright, deep, pained. Why, I thought, when we get so emotional about something, we release it in the form of salty tears produced by our tear ducts. I'm sure I could look up the medical reasoning [[the "scientific reason" if you will]] But it's deeper than that... Why do we cry? Our first time, when the passion's so intense- we cry. When a loved one dies- we cry. When we are laughing so hard we think our ribs might crack- we cry. When we're scared to death- we cry. When we're just too overwhelmed with the pressures of everyday life- we cry. So many different reasons, all the same reaction. And I thought about it, staring into my own crying eyes, bloodshot, wet with tears, an unimaginably bright cross between green and blue. And I thought- crying is so beautiful. It's the only form of expression when words just truly aren't enough... When the passion, the fear, the happiness, the pain- is so deep that no words could begin to touch the depths of it. There's something precious about crying. In the words of Rob Thomas, "Her tears like diamonds on the floor" Tears are more priceless than any diamond. Sure they're not always a girl's best friend [[especially when their tears of pain and sorrow]] but they're beautiful nonetheless. And I thought to myself- Wow... What he's done to me. The actions that speak so much louder than words... Produces an emotion so strong that no words could explain. Instead I've got this rapid, throbbing heartbeat, pounding and breaking against my ribcage, a sinking feeling inside of me, and these bright blues and rosy red cheeks streaked with tears. The simple fact that he could produce such a horridly lovely feeling from what he had done to me- That's how I knew it was truly over. And that I could never go back to him. In the words, once again, of the wisely lyrical Rob Thomas, "This is all I can take. This is how a heart breaks." Mine is broken. Of that I'm absolutely sure of. You don't truly know what a broken heart is until you've got one. But if there is one piece of advice I can bestow upon you, it's to learn to realize and cherish the beauty in your tears. Those sweet salty drops are carrying your soul in them [[Umm... don't worry- you still have your soul ;) lol]] Really guys... I can't explain the beauty behind crying. It's something that you've got to realize on your own. But damn... Not even every sunrise in a lifetime could add up to the beauty of one single, crystal clear teardrop.

To Him >=[

"You'll Think of Me" -Keith Urban

I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah

And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday


[[And I hope you do think about me. I hope that you realize the pain you've caused me. I tried to right my wrongs, but I guess I was just too late. And now you've settled for second best. But I guess it gave me the chance to make sure I didn't do that exact same thing >.<]]

A Sick Twist of Fate

Wow. Life sure can be cruel sometimes...Feels like my heart was just ripped out of my chest... Could this really be happening? I guess I was stupid to think that there was actually hope for a second chance... Maybe I just don't deserve one. I wish he would have at least told me to give up hope... Maybe that way I wouldn't have held on so tightly to the only thing I had left...

Too Much Love?

Everyone loves to feel loved. Hugs, Kisses, Cuddles- It's all pretty fantastic if you ask me. But when does it become much? When does love become too much love? I don't believe than any one person can love another people "too much" But when you're hearts decided on what it wants, it's hard not to feel the hurt you're causing others. I've made the decision that Rory is the one thing I want. I know that's going to hurt a few people who've had their eye on me, and to whom I've shown relative interest in. So of course I'm going to feel bad about that. But honestly- if they really care for me, they'll want what's best for me and what makes me happy, right? It seems that is the case... So long as it's them making me happy. Always with the loopholes. So it's been hard to commit myself to my decision to try and win Rory back. And, if only to complicate matters further, [[well, honestly it's just kind of annoying- lol]] I've got these random [[some of which creepy]] dudes hitting on me. Between confessions of crushes, to coy compliments, to flat out nasty remarks- it's getting old quick. I've never been one to have guys all over me, nor have I ever expected to. So why, all of a sudden, is everyone telling me they love me, and calling me babe, hun, sweetie, love, sweetheart, babydoll.... Umm... dude... You don't even KNOW me... No cute pet-talk for you! It's one thing to say it to someone you're dating. It's another when it's a random girl offline... Wouldn't you say? Well, senior portfolio tomorrow at 3.45pm, so I should get some sleep so I'm well rested! Night ♥

Kind Words

So how about my friend Evan just made my night! We talk a lot on IM, and we always talk about each others' relationship issues. With him it's usually about whatever girl he's interested in at the time, and with me, typically the drama with Rory [[my ex of two years]] Well basically Evan had told me, "You know that break you wanted to take? This was it. You just didn't know it." And over the past week, I've been on and off between wanting to just be friends, and wanting him back. And I've finally reached the conclusion that I do really want to be with him and no one else. And I told Evan, "You know, you say you're this huge asshole and everything, but you're actually a really nice guy [[like it or not]] You do typically tend to see the world as it is, and I think your emotional detachment from my situations really helps you see the obvious when I so blindly look over it." Well his response was all but what I expected it to be. Knowing Evan, I expected it to be some wise-ass comment. But he actually goes, "I think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you :)" It made me cry! Haha =P Like, seriously! And I told him, and then Typical Evan goes, "See, that's the difference between you and I. You cry. lol" It was the best thing ever and it just totally made my night. Then with my resolution to my issue with Rory... ^_^ Things are finally looking up you guys :) So excited!

Senioritis! O.O

Possibly the deadliest disease of the season. 12th graders everyone are shaking, sweating, vomitting profusely due to this terrible disease. Okay... So maybe it's not THAT bad, but still... ;P I don't know about you guys, but I am SERIOUSLY beginning to freak out... This week's going to be a busy one between Senior Portfolio and Final Exams, then Solo & Ensemble. I'm a complete and total nervous wreck! I need to have "Oh Dear What Can The Matter Be" memorized by tomorrow for my choir final, need to have my portfolio perfected to present to the freshmen when I'm still 4 minutes over my alloted time. I have a ton of Chemistry assignments to make up [[all of course about things I wasn't there to learn]] I didn't retake the class to get a worse grade than before. Shoulda just stuck with the C+ and called it a day! >.< I definitely need a hug, tell you what =P Hugs make everything better. I know I should try running through my portfolio one more time, but it's already past midnight and I've got to be up at 6am for school! O.o And I can't miss a single day this week or I am S-C-R-E-W-E-D!! >.< So not cool! *Sigh* But what can you do, eh? I guess when you throw yourself into a ditch, you've got no other options than to deal with the consquences and crawl out. Sometimes I wish life were like a movie, don't you guys? Mehh... *Shrugs* I'ma go read "The Green Mile" and catch some shut-eye. Later guys ♥ -_- ZzZzzZZzzz...

Best Advice Ever!

Face it. We've all had times when we've just wanted to give up. Give in. Give it all away. And honestly, I can't blame you. I myself have [[many more times than once]] just wanted to give up and go numb. Between ending a relationship of two years, nearly screwing up my entire senior year, to the typical everyday drama that ensues between friends, family, and what not, I've reached the end of my rope more than once. But if there's anything I've learned, it's to persevere. Sure, it can be hard at times, but it's what has to be done. Two weeks ago I got diagnosed with "Bipolar Affective Disorder" Which is basically a combination of Bipolar disorder and manic depression. [[Fun stuff, eh?]] But it's all good... But Andrew Francisco gave me the best advice I have ever heard, and I think you could all benefit from it. He said, "Cherish these moments. Remember and love these moments in which your pain is almost unbearable and the next little piece of joy you have will be heaven. If you go humb you won't appreciate anything. You'll never shed another tear that you had truly felt with your heart. You'll never laugh a true laugh. Live for pain and with that will come the greatest joy you could ever possibly imagine." Read it. Memorize it. Live by it. Cause honestly, if that's not the truest advice ever, then I don't know what is. {This post goes out to Andrew Francisco, for helping get me through the hard times and giving me the best advice I'd ever heard}

Hola! Como se llama?

I'm Angela. I'm an 18-year-old Senior, and I'm currently hating every minute spent in this tiny ol town we like to call "Stocktucky". Were I given the chance, I'd definitely move somewhere else, preferably out of state [[country?]] I'm predominantly Irish, so I've always been interested in visiting Ireland. I'm obsessed with accents [[Irish, British, Canadian]] I love Tacos ♥ I'm a little crazy, but you learn to love me. Take me as I am or get your ass outta here ;) I love talking [[just in general]] and I love meeting new people, so don't be shy! ^_^ I'm totally loveable, I love to cuddle! =P Haha! I'll probably offend you sooner or later, so just accept it ^_^ I'm incredibly open-minded, and very, very odd. Music = Life ♥ I love to sing, dance randomly, write, read, talk to strangers, and generally just weird people out. I want to be that girl that makes people go home and say, "Mom! Dad! You won't believe what I say today!" I like bright colored skinny jeans and ice cream <3 My computer is a piece, but I spend most my time on it. Yup, yup- Lazy ^_^ I love photography and making videos. Get to know me. Chances are you'll regret it, but I'll make it worth your while ♥